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you have reached the winter of our discontent...

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Monday, December 15, 2003

7:38PM - today...

was warm. it was so strange to not just see, but feel, the sun.

around this time last year, i was lying on the floor--watching the shadows move across my walls as the sun moved across the sky. so still, i would take the tiniest breaths, trying not to disturb the world around me.

today, i moved:

i left my bed.
(i haven't lain down since)

i washed my hair.
(i got shampoo in my eyes)

i ate a big lunch.
(i promised you, remember?)

i took phone calls.
(i didn't even check the i.d.)

i had chamomile tea.
(i may have had more than a little)

i folded my own crane.
(i think it's awful but it's mine)

i said your name aloud.
(i was the only one home)

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Sunday, December 14, 2003

11:07PM - old calendar pages, post-it notes, menus, wrapping paper, her homework...

1000 cranes you folded for me.

we'd read the legend of sadako together
and i remember when you started...
for no other reason than that i asked.

we couldn't decide why.
we couldn't decide for whom.

1000 cranes have been waiting for a cause.
i decided tonight that they would keep me whole this winter.
i held each one in my hand, determined to
allow these bits of folded paper to be my salvation.

thank you.
for this and more, thank you.

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